Exploring Sexual Vampirism in Our Spiritual Communities

The night after the retreat I received a call from a client who disclosed to me she was abused in a session by a massage/tantra/energy healer, and she also disclosed she had spoken to many other women who were also abuse by the same person in their healing massage session.

It was then I realized I needed to share some important information to my community and send out a call to all men, women and community leaders to bring awareness to unsafe practices that are currently occuring in private massage, breathwork, tantra, and shamanic ceremonies. From our awareness and action we will promote true healing. By doing nothing we continue to support the cycle of abuse that is still occurring in western culture.

I will attempt to address this massive topic in a clear and helpful way so we can all benefit and grow with a deeper understanding of whats involved and what can be done about it so we may all feel more empowered and informed when we embark on our own personal healing journey.

I have been a Family and Substance Abuse Counsellor for over 30 years and over the last 10 years I have seen a disintegration in shamanic ceremonies that involve taking any type of external substance, or are having people engage in transformational experiences such as breathwork, tantra and other life altering experiences. Many with unsafe results for the participants.

In my private counselling practice I began to see a steady increase of men and women attending shamanic ceremonies. They were coming out of these ceremonies more damaged then when they went in. The reasons for this was always the same and very consistent and was not the fault of the person going into the ceremony but directly because the facilitator or space where the ceremony was being held was not safe for the client.
I currently now have a long wait list of clients who have had negative experiences and their anxieties, traumas, and personal problems have increases since they have attended these unsafe ceremonies or session with unsafe practitioners. Which is why I have decided to speak to this important issue our community has been facing for a very long time. When we educate ourselves with knowledge and discernment we will be able to increase our awareness and ensure we are on a safe and true healing path, keeping all of our community protected.

Here is a detailed list of 9 key things to be aware of before you decide to do any type of plant medicine, frog or toad medicine, breathwork, tantra work, or any other mind and body altering ceremonies:

#1 Safe Container: make sure the space you are doing your ceremony or healing sessions in are in a private neutral space. This will insure a safe environment and experience for all who attend. Many of the these unsafe ceremonies/sessions are occurring in basements, warehouses, personal living rooms, bedrooms, and in public residential areas without privacy and will create an in balance during the ceremony. If you use your intuition as your guide you will be able to know when the space is not balanced or has chaotic energy which will impact you in a negative way.

#2. Experience is a Must :Before you do any type of ceremony with a shaman, facilitator, or practioner make sure they have the proper training. I recommend a minimum of 10 years of dedicated training and practicing as a student first, as a good indicator that the person is ready to hold space for a group ceremonies.
It is also important to make sure that the practioner has a direct connection to the lineage and teaching of the medicines they are bringing forward. Many practitioners are attending a10 day training and claiming to be able administer plant medicine for others. Would you rather sit in a space with someone who has 10 years of training or 10 days, I think you know the answer to that. Never sell yourself short when it comes to your own personal healing or you could be opening yourself up for an increase in your personal issues rather then clearing them.
This same standard I have upheld for myself in all my Professional Offerings and services: Before, I became a family counsellor I worked with a highly trained team for 15 years supporting youth with trauma, obtained 2 degrees in psychology and criminology, attended 4 years of intense Warrior Sage training, many courses in trauma training, suicide intervention training, and certificates in addictions and conflict resolution, plus multiple trainings on how to support sexual abuse victims, and 25 years of tantra training. . It was only after doing this amount of training I felt that I had the knowledge to counsel others in dealing with their abuse, as I took my work very seriously and knew I was dealing with people who were coming from abuse and trauma so it was important for me to have the proper training before I worked with anyone in a professional manner.
The same goes for my shamanic and breathwork trainings: I studied for 10 years as a fire keeper under a wise elder before I felt ready to pour my first sweat lodge.
.I have also studied under 4 breathwork teachers over 10 years and I still will only assist in group sessions and will not run a group session on my own until I have completed my full 400 hours of breathwork training. This is the standard and safety I hold for myself and all my clients.

#3. Make sure the Ceremonial Substances are Pure: If you are ingesting any external substance from a shaman make sure you know how it was sourced and that it is what it claims to be.
Since there is no quality control regulation, many people are taking substances that are laced with other ingredients and you are causing damage to your brain when you ingest tainted substances. For example one of my clients went for a Bufo toad ceremony in Vancouver and found out that the bufo they took was laced with paint solvent chemicals when they had it tested. Another client went for an ayahausca ceremony that was laced with the date rape drug and then abused.
These are not isolated incidents, I am hearing on a weekly basis clients being damaged by tainted medicine. If you cannot TRUST the SOURCE DO NOT do the ceremony.

#4. Connection to Lineage is Important: Make sure your practitioner has a strong connection to the lineage of the medicine or teachings they are offering. If the practitioner is not continually upgrading their own teachings or honouring where the teaching comes from, it is a red flag they do not have the experience needed to hold a safe space for others.

#5. After Care Support: If the ceremony does not offer any integration or after care support it is another red flag that the primary intention is for money rather then healing.

#6. Overcrowding and under staffed ceremonies is dangerous: if you are attending ceremonies where there is very little support and you feel the energy is chaotic it is usually a sign that the facilitation space is understaffed.
A good rule of thumb is go by the ratio of 2 staff for every 10 participants or 1 to 5 ratio.
I am still counselling clients who have attended medicine or breath ceremonies with ratios of 2 staff to 30 participants and even 2 to 50 participants. Both of these clients were severely traumatized.

#7. Ceremonies for Profit is another warning sign: Traditionally sacred ceremonies were not to be used as a means for profit. Today in western culture we see ceremonies that are used as a means to profit off of others. Some good signs that a ceremony is following traditional teachings are the ones that are offered by donation or on a sliding scale of what the person can afford, and no one is turned away for lack of money. Another good indication that a ceremony is integrated, is if the facilitator offers half of the monies earned back to the culture and teachers it has come from. If you see ceremonies where money is the primary focus it is a sign you are dealing with a business showman not a shaman.

#8. Synthetic Ceremony Warnings: In western culture we have a tendency to take traditional medicine from plants and create a synthetic version of it. Be very cautious of taking synthetic types of drugs as many have not been properly tested and are often extremely strong, causing your brain to go into an overloaded state which can be impossible to integrate the experience This can lead to issues of mental health and other problems, this has happened to a large number of my personal clients.

#9 Ceremonial and Private Session Facilitation and Sex Addiction: Unfortunately, in the field of shamanism, ceremonial practices and healing facilitation, I estimate that about 50% of the facilitators are in this field for the right reason and are bringing some healing to their clients and the other 50% are dealing with severe sex addiction.
The healing profession has attracted people who really want to help others but it has also equally attracted others who are out to exploit and take advantage of their clients primarily due to feed their own sex addiction and also by the need to to claim power, control and money.
It is very important if you suspect your practitioner is a sex addict to stop all sessions immediately, especially if the practitioner has crossed boundaries with you or touched you in an inappropriate manner. If you have been abuse in anyway it is important to report it and get help. The police are already aware of many of these abusers due to past complaints. Most sexual complaints to police never get to the stage of a formal charge because the victim will not come forward as a witness and these case are very hard to convict as we have a flawed legal system, however, the police will keep the complaint on file in case there are others who come forward.

#10 Here are 4 examples of some Sobering Truths of the Shadow Side of Shamanic ceremonies and individual healing sessions right in our own backyard and beyond.

a. Be aware of plant medicine retreats in Peru and Brazil that are over priced and have under trained facilitators: Many of these retreats drug the women and sexually assault women who attend these ceremonies, I have personally spoken with and supported 15 women who have had direct experience with these issues. Best way to know is to talk to people who have personally attended a retreat and had a psositive experience.
b. Be aware of private breathwork facilitators who engage in sexual activity during or after their session with you..I am currently aware of 4 breathworkers in the Vancouver Community who have strong sex addictions and are acting out their addictions with their clients, including the sexual touching of minors. Make sure your breathwork facilitator has been certified with the proper training and experience.
c. Sexual tantra teachers and healers.: Currently aware of 8 male tantra teachers in the Vancouver area who are abusing their clients in sessions. These clients are usually to scared to press charges so the tantra sex healer continues to get away with it. An important message to women and their own sexual healing: If a tantra healer says he needs to have sex with you to heal you, you are dealing with a sex addicted man who is projecting his own addiction onto you, tell him to get some help.
d. Currently aware of 12 massage practioners in the Vancouver and Sunshine Coast area who are claiming to be shamans, healers, crystal masters, yoga teachers, and spirtual gurus who have had sex with their clients in their sessions. Again the client is to afraid to do anything about it. They feel if they speak up about it they will be shamed and persecuted in our community. So they suffer in silence or disclose their pain in a private counselling session, not knowing what to do or say. Sadly, going through the legal system only re-traumatizes them and the cases that do go to court are dismissed on technicalities.

In my personal opinion, I believe that healthiest way we can address these issues is to educate the ones going to these types of unsafe places, raise the standards for the containers of these ceremonies and sessions to ensure they are safe, and hold accountable the people who do no provide a safer container and abuse others in their sessions. This means they need to seek help for their addictions and the way they conduct themselves with their clients.
I put a call out to everyone in our commuity to please bring more awareness and discussion to a very important topic that is impacting many loving members in our community.
Please know from my heart that I share this very sensitive information for the highest and best interest for all beings.

9 Rings Blessings to all,
Chris Austin Fletcher
💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🌎